You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
