don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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