there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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