pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
