3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
