i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize