I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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