There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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