I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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