dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
