So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
