I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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