And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
