Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
