I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
