dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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