Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
