Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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