Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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