I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
