My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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