you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
