I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
