I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
