Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
