She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
