Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
