Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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