Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
