Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
