I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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