A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
