Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
