Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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(803): View more from South Carolina

you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I want a burrito.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Truly, you are the voice of a generation.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.

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(516): View more from New York

I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.

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