Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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