It was confusing and full of hummus
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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