How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
