Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
