Ambien. No doubt about it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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