tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
