I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
