Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
