If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
