I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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