just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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