I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
