Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
