He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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