but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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