This girl is more easily done than said...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
