this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
